hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
