Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
