Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
