who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i jhust puked up my retainher.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
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Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
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Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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