It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
