Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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