hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
