I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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