Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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