I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
