those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
