I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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