That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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