I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
