You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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