So drunk, too bad you don't want this
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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