no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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