you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You are the jesus of drinking
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
