He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
