you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just forgot I was standing up.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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