Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
