This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
