I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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