I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
