is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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