I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
