I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just puked most of my soul out..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
