Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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