i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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