she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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