Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
