so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
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I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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