Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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