Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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