her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
