i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
