no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
