Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
