The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
