I cockslap morals
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
