Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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