I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize