it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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