Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
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he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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