I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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