I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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