the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
