Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
