You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
