Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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