....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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