I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
