I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
