"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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