Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
