Got a toothbrush?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
