yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize