Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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